Wednesday, August 8, 2012

I Heard The Final Shout With A Feeling Of Inevitability

Staying in has never been a problem. Just beyond that thin metal mesh lies a bitter bastion that I just can't bring myself to deal with most times. Another puff could send me hurtling toward insanity, but, I am willing to risk it... There is a very real psychosis that needs to be discovered tonight. It lies within these riffs, these mythological monoliths that portend our doom, one tectonic shift at a time. 3:00 AM, time to turn it up again. At least I can drown out that noise from outside, which may be a head trip or just Dick's and the parking lot fights and wafting scents of cheap and plentiful grease just begging to coat that pit that has been gagging and dragging from too much warm beer and not enough processed flesh. Not enough warm conversation.

This is what I get for never calling friends...

Standing alone, on the balcony, it would be so easy just to fly away. Who would miss me? Who would miss us? I mean, it IS always just me and that incessant jawing in my mind. A near-constant aggravation of sinful, soulless self-deprecation... I have buried myself in it. What will it take to finally get over the fear of those impending dark clouds surrounding and enveloping my skin? Is it acid rain? Is it some god or another screaming out for vengeance? Should I run and hide or stand and take it like a man? It is all around me.

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